No phonecalls from the hospital so far; so it’s either in the hands of another department or no news at all. Hopefully it’s the former and they are just working out the best way to say ‘don’t try anymore, it’s pointless’. I could call and find out, but after waiting for the best part of eight months for answers, an extra week is nothing…plus it gives something to look forward to; everyone likes news. They just have to ask. Or look.

No doubt there will be some reason they won’t give a timespan for my mortality on Tuesday; yet I feel after this length of time on various treatments and the increase in pain since before they last scanned (early April), which Dr. Spooner is aware of, that there needs to be some sort of date or something to give me even a glimpse of what to do. If anything, it’s getting harder to do the simple things- even in the past week co-ordination and reaching for stuff has been a little trickier than it has been. I can’t keep acting like it’s not getting too much to go on…there’s only so much pretending to want to ‘fight’ it I can do. Come next week; unless it’s something groundbreaking, the ‘battle’ is all yours, Clive.

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