I’m glad the auction is near; it gives something to focus on. It doesn’t always haopen that way and there’s certainly a lot of ‘why do I bother’ thoughts running through my head but all in all, if the night sends people away thinking of my mortality then all is good.

I don’t anticipate much more than Christmas if I’m putting a timescale on it. The hospital have said longer but taking the symptoms and how they have progressed into account, I’ll be surprised if I last the year.

I’m not booking anything past the date they have given me for obvious reasons; it seens pointless, as does buying anyrhing to ‘keep’. What’s the point? It’ll only need to be disposed of or sold, so it’s either given away or not brought. For the sake of the money I’ve written myself out of the Birmingham Half; it’s only £30 and more hassle doing something about it than leaving it and not being there. It’s hardly like I’m going to be missed…..and I doubt at the run either.

Begin again

This weekend has been the worst one so far; I barely made it around the boot sale and Tamworth, no amount of pretending could disguise the fact that I’m deteriatorating massively. The same today in Birmingham, I can’t act anymore; the legs are on their way out it seems. I’ve been wobblier than before and it’s just a matter of time before I go over.

If I could start again, knowing what I do, there woukd be those who would be treated exactly as they have been and the story will remain the same. A whole host of people will never have been spoken to and even known of.

For the second day, a chair has been mentioned, so everyone else must be noticicing the walking. I swore that I wouldn’t go that route unless needs be….and it’s becoming that way.