I’m glad the auction is near; it gives something to focus on. It doesn’t always haopen that way and there’s certainly a lot of ‘why do I bother’ thoughts running through my head but all in all, if the night sends people away thinking of my mortality then all is good.

I don’t anticipate much more than Christmas if I’m putting a timescale on it. The hospital have said longer but taking the symptoms and how they have progressed into account, I’ll be surprised if I last the year.

I’m not booking anything past the date they have given me for obvious reasons; it seens pointless, as does buying anyrhing to ‘keep’. What’s the point? It’ll only need to be disposed of or sold, so it’s either given away or not brought. For the sake of the money I’ve written myself out of the Birmingham Half; it’s only £30 and more hassle doing something about it than leaving it and not being there. It’s hardly like I’m going to be missed…..and I doubt at the run either.


Apart from tiredness and the hair loss, Christmas should be a side effect free event…there may very well be an increase in the gut and the moon face department- but that’s going to happen regardless of the tablets. The coordination seems to be staying at a ‘getting there, but nowhere near’ level, which I’m happy with for now. Well, as much as I can be.

And now to wait….

The list…

It seems to come and go, but there’s an odd pain in my left knee, it’s probably just been slept on or something, but after all, I’ve only got to wait until Tuesday before I can hopefully get more answers to everything. There’s bound to be a lot that Dr. Spooner can’t or won’t answer, but like so much at the moment, I’m just going to have to see.

If I’m still going, it seems like, apart from a few extra cards, the list will just be copied from last year though. That suits me down to the ground though, at least it proves how much dead wood has been dropped over the years, and for the right reasons. More to the point, those people have been there over the past month or so, and will hopefully be there for the upcoming months in the same way. Although it might not be just for me…if I’m not here, it’s going to make that wrapping tricky to do.

6 seems to be it….

It always seems to be 6 hours sleep I can manage properly, with a potential nap adding to this later or not soon after waking up. It’s a bit annoying, I’ve always been a tired soul and enjoyed my sleep, but if this is part and parcel of the cocktail of medicine, I guess I can live with it…..for however long I’m here.

Until any scans and analysis from after the radiotheraphy, I can’t see there being a way for them to see what effect any of the treatments have had. That means mid-December before I finish, almost Christmas before I know (if they even do that kind of reveal, they might all be on holiday).

I don’t know. Some indication would be nice, but they don’t know themselves what Clive is up to right now. More waiting.