The second week is done; nine zappings so far and only 16 left to go..the rumoured side effects haven’t materialised as of yet, but of course there’s plenty of time for that to happen. The only warning side is that my head is itchy at times- but as I don’t normally wear a hat, it could be something to do with that, or it could be the treated area preparing to shed some hair- there’s only one way to know. Wait.

Finally the PIP confirmed that they have received the DS1500 form which will mean a letter in the first half of next week letting me know all of the juicy details. As long as I can keep myself afloat with whatever is decided, I’ll be ok with things, maybe. Once I’ve picked up the payslip with SSP and popped to the council to see how much they will do I may be closer to getting less worked up about it.

3 down…22 to go

As predicted, nothing has changed over the past few days, apart from the very early morning cross city trips and big breakfasts it just seems like normal mornings so far. The sleeping is still majorly broken, possibly more so due to a desire to stay awake and therefore once it hits the 0500 threshold, there’s almost no point trying to get back to sleep, just in case…

Alex, today’s zapper, was quite useful sorting out the timings for next week- still early mornings, but it leaves the rest of the day free, for what it’s worth. They are also going to sort the clinic appointment out so it all ties in timewise, so while that won’t be as early as the others, it’s impressive how efficent they are in that department. He did however mention that as part of the side effects, when they kick in, that the walking and co-ordination might get worse before they get better, so that’s going to be tricky, but as to how bad it can get, no one knows….

Annoyingly, a call to the PIP, which should just have been a follow up on the month ago claim, turned out to be a ‘we haven’t received the DS1500 form yet’, which as Fred sent it last month is pathetic. He’s sending another one in the morning and hopefully that finally gets through to them to get the ball rolling……


Both Fred (nurse, not tumour) & Dr Spooner are off today, and Claire doesn’t seem to have the same knowledge of all that’s going on, which is fair enough, no-one will know every case! She seems to think that they will give me the week break of chemo tablets as planned, but then start me up on them again around the time of the radiotheraphy. Of course, I see Spooner before that, so can check. They don’t seem to have knocked me about for the past fortnight, but maybe this possible combination could produce some interesting results…all part of the fun, as I’m sure the saying goes.

The PIP ‘claim’ is as in motion as I can do so, Fred said he had sent the DS1500 report (always causes a little pause on the phone!) and it was just confirming I’m me and how fucked I am to them. I’d rather not have a penny and work, but clearly those aren’t my dealt cards right now.

It might sink in soon, it’s still in that stage of not quite happening, but you know it is.

Aggressive little bugger- it would seem….

I’m all for thinking the worst will happen, and normally it does.
I was expecting the line of questions for any sort of money supplement to go through plenty of things, but when saying it to complete strangers, it seems that bit more real.

I wasn’t expecting Fred and Dr Spooner to agree so rapidly that they might as well DS1500 the paperwork, as a precaution; because of the same reason Dr Spooner said: because they don’t know.

Fred says he is calling them to arrange and do all the paperwork related to it, but after the scan in the morning, I’ll call them anyway, just in case he forgets!

I can feel it slowly sinking in now though, the slow realisation that days are numbered; I just don’t know how many. I can’t be too scared though, can I?