It’s too hard to walk anywhere anymore; sitting down takes the pain from the legs but it’s always in my head. I don’t know whether it’s the tumour or the bleed that causes it, but I suppose it’s not too long before I find out. Hopefully all of my questions get answered…and prognosis is one of them…

I’ve a chair. The first time I have to use it in public is going to be hell; too much ‘look at me’; no-one will be saying it, but they will be thinking it. If it’s said I won’t be sure how I’m going to’s been a while and there’s a hell of a lot building inside of me.



The occasional muscle pain seems to be just that, and without any knowledge in that kind of area, I’ll put it down to the fact that it’s because my leg is doing more work. It had a fair old workout today around Burton, and only a few wobbles along the way. Dare I say it, but at least for the walking element, things seem to be looking up. Sleep is still fairly elusive and napping is unpredictable, but I don’t expect that adjusting much.

A welcome relief was finding the much rumoured PIP letter when I got dropped home, it’s taken long enough for it to all be arranged but the fact it’s done now does at least offer some comfort that I can carry on without too much money stress.

Middle of the bridge

Thirteen zappings done, so by a fraction, over halfway through the radiotheraphy course. It must be doing something, as the walking since Monday morning has been a marked improvement, by no means as it should be, but its the best it’s been for a few months. It still takes more effort than it should getting up stairs, but down, with a little bit of balance control is quite do-able.

Even though the appointments have been slighty later in the mornings this week, they seem more draining than ever before and it seems almost impossible to drop off for a nap in the afternoons. I’ll be glad when I can just drop off.


It could just be the fact that it got more use than it has for a while at Cannock yesterday, but my leg seems to be responding more to being told what to do; it was easier to walk this morning, and bar a few wobbles through the day, it’s stayed that way. How it will be in the morning is another story, it could be ten times worse.

Out of curiosity, I checked where I was being zapped, as I don’t see when I’m lay down, and apparantly I get a blast from either side and one more to the centre. How accurate that is, I have no idea, but it’ll do me as an answer. They are pretty sure hair will drop out from the area they are concentrating on fairly soon, but like everything else, I’m just waiting and seeing what happens.